A man walks into a bar and sees a sign saying "Free Beer if you pass this test", interested, the man walks up to the bartender and asks "What's the test?". The bartender replies, "There are three objectives. First, you have to drink 2 whole gallons of vinegar mixed with soda water with a straight face, then you have to wrestle the crocodile outside and then have sex with the old woman up-stairs". Suddenly, they see this short drunken man running through the bar to the gallon of vinegar mixed with soda water and starts drinking. He's drinking and drinking and he's keeping a straight face with a desperate look on his face, then he runs outside and, for some strange reason, they here the crocodile screaming. The drunken man runs back in and yells, "Right, where's the woman with the sore tooth?!".
This blonde girl is in a plane to Los Angeles in coach class and sees that first class has bigger, more confortable seats and she notices that there is a spare seat in First class so she goes to that seat. The plane assistant walks through the ile's checking everybodies tickets and then sees the blonde is not in the right seat. So he tells her, "Excuse me Ma'am, your ticket says you're in coach class, please move back so this plane can take off?", the blonde replies, "Why? I am young, i'm blonde and i'm beautiful and i am going to sit here all the way to Los Angeles". Not wanting to cause a commotion, the assistant goes to the cock-pit and tells the pilot of this situation. Once heard, the pilot strolls down the ile's to the blonde girl and says, "Ma'am, this plane cannot take off unless you move out of this seat.". Again, the blonde replies with the same answer as before, "Why? I am young, i'm blonde and i'm beautiful and i am going to sit here all the way to Los Angeles". Again, not wanting to cause a commotion, they walk off to the cock-pit and discuss this issue. The co-pilot eve-drops and says, "Where does this blonde girl sit?", the pilot replies, "Why?" so he replies, "I have a blonde wife and i think i know how to deal with this". So, they both tell him where she sat. The co-pilot went up to the blonde girl and whispered something in her ear, she then jumped up, hugged the co-pilot and said, "Thank you!". Stunned, the assistant and the pilot both asked what he had said to her, the co-pilot replies, "Oh, i just told her first class wasn't going to Los Angeles."
There is this bear and this rabbit that both hate each other and they live in a forest. One day, the bear is chasing the rabbit through the forest and notices this magical frog. They both go up, and the magical frog says, "I can grant you three wishes", so the bear goes first and says "I wish i was the only male bear in this forest" (so he can have sex with all the female bears in the forest), the rabbit then says "I wish i had a motor-bike helmet", wish was granted. "I wish i was the only male bear throughout the entire country", wish was granted to the bear, "I wish i had a motorbike", says the rabbit. "In fact, i wish i was the only male bear in the entire world!", wish was granted. The rabbit then laughs, and says, "I wish the bear was gay!", wish granted, and he rode as fast as he could on his new motor-bike.
How'd you like my jokes?
